Whose Idea Was This Anyways?
by Mazarine Fennec
Summary: Someone suggests a paintball fight to the autobots... unknowing of the chaos that would soon ensue.... rated for complete crack.. seriously.. you're brain's gonna die.. and transformer cussing.


1I don't own transformers...I don't even own this plotbunny of doom... seriously.. I'm just playing in other peoples' sandboxes... this was created by browsing throuh the LJ community tf2007fun and happening upon a rather silly post by azysapphy.. Have fun kiddies

_This is crazy._

Sam thought as he practically threw himself behind a large oak on a high outcropping as something large and blue whizzed past his head and splat against another tree... well, it more like exploded, butt eh effect was still there. He also decided at that moment that he no longer wanted to participate in the friendly game that had turned into an all out war. Cautiously peeking from behind the tree, he took in the chaos. Large and small balls of bright colors ranging from blue to neon pink were flying through the trees and the sides of the building hitting random people and/or objects.

He could see Lennox, Epps and Fig crouched behind an old military jeep that had once been left on the property ( hell, it was an abandoned air base). All three of them were covered from head to toe in pink, blue and neon green. He snorted when Lennox let out a yell as another splatter appeared on the vest he was wearing.. It was green, that must have been from Maggie. Speaking of whom, his eyes swivelled around to search for the blond. He caught sight of her, Mikaela and Glen hiding behind Hound, one of the newer bots to land on earth, using him as a shield as he fired off army green paint balls at the newly resurrected Jazz who stumbled backward.

"Boo."

He jumped about a foot in the air and turned. Two almost innocent blue optics were staring at him.

"Bee! Don't do that to me!!!" he said as the autobot laughed.

"Sorry Sam... why are you all the way over here?" the mini-bot asked curiously, watching as a bright yellow blur ran past them, covered in blue paint. Sam raised an eyebrow– when had Ratchet joined in on the fun?

"It's turned into a war Bumblebee.. And Autobot paintballs are bigger than human ones.. I'm done." he said as his guardian laughed and stood slightly again, checking the small, but still pretty good sized gun in his hands. He was still practically full of bright yellow paintballs.

"Okay then."

And so, the yellow mini-bot tried to sneak away from the old oak tree, the mission impossible theme playing from within his speakers. Sam just shook his head and moved to observe the chaos once more.

"Take THAT!"

The red and black autobot jumped out from behind a pile of rocks and pulled the trigger, successfully pinging paintballs off of the pristine yellow paint of his brother, whom had decided this was _definately _NOT a game best suited for him.

"SIDESWIPE!!!" he yelled angrily, looking down at the red splatter in horror. His brother chuckled evilly.

"It's a good look for you Sunny!" he said as the yellow bot growled and grabbed a paint ball gun, chasing after the other with thoughts of revenge, painful revenge, on his thought processors. Sam laughed to himself, this was definitely something that suited both of them, whether or not they realized it. A thud beside him caused him to turn and look at another Autobot. He blinked in utmost surprise to see the Autobot SIC laying on his back, trying to get his wits about him as he wiped neon pink from his eyes.

"Oooooo, 'Hide got ya good Prowlie!" Sideswipe yelled, dashing by him as he narrowly missed a yellow paintball or two from Bumblebee and Sunstreaker. Prowl said nothing and scrambled up.

Sam then looked at Ironhdie, who was practically cackling sadistically as he shot of three or four paintballs at a time–_ leave it up to Ironhide to be able to fiddle with a paintball gun in so little amount of time to be able to supercharge it enough to whack off a good few of his comrads-_ at the other bots. Poor Ratchet took one to the head and stumbled Lennox's hiding place effectively rendering it unsafe . Said Captain yelled and dashed out of the way of the cursing medic and hid, once again, where he thought it was safe.

"Sam!" he looked up to see Mikaela running towards him. She collapsed next to him, panting.

"It's crazy out there!" she said and he nodded.

"Yeah, specially with trigger finger over there." Sam jerked his thumb to Ironhide who was now targeting Jazz and Bumblebee. Mikaela laughed breathlessly.

"He's in his element isn't he?being able to shoot at anything and not get scolded for it."

"Yeah.. Neon pink is definitely his color." the two teenagers snickered.

"Who's idea was this anyways?"

"Dunno... hey have you seen Optimus?"

Shoom... shoom...SPLAT!

"Who the SLAG!?"

Soft snickering from behind the two teenagers had them turning to see Optimus Prime, charismatic, kind, _semi-pacefistic_ leader of the autobots, laying on his stomach amidst a bunch of felled trees and brush holding a paintball gun up like a sniping rifle, filled with white paintballs...pointed in the direction of the twins... Their jaws dropped. One of his optics shuttered as if he were winking at them before he seemed to disappear into the thick trees once more.

"Was he _giggling?!"_

By the middle of the day, when Mrs Witwicky, Lennox and Epps decided it was time for their families to stop playing around like toddlers and come in and clean up for dinner –for the Autobots had allowed the women to commandeer the kitchen in order to save themselves from death-by-angry-housewife – the bots followed, covered in different colors.. Neon pink being the most prominent, aside from a top layering of bright white. Optimus and Ironhide walked together, laughing, and talking proudly to one another, their guns slung over their shoulders. Their comrades followed almost sullenly, realizing that they had their afts handed to them once more, by their leader and one of the oldest Autobots alive. Sideswipe was particularly sulky about it...

"He fragging SNIPED ME! How is that fair?!"

"You're just mad that he thought of climbing to high ground before you did."

"Tha' was fun let's do it again huh?" Ironhide said, looking over his shoulder. The others groaned when Optimus agreed with him.

Okay, so the ending sucked, but I felt like I was getting a bit ... y'know... lengthy as it was. I tried though, to hit all the crackficplotbunnies as I was able too.. Specifically Prime giggling like a mad child with a dart gun and Ironhide firing off neon pink paintballs.. Hope you all enjoed I t


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